So I had posted earlier this morning about how today there was a note of hope in the air. Something about today just seemed so right. And honeslty, it has been a great day. I got my essay finished with time to spare, I felt good today, and I indulged in me and took a bunch of picture of me in my new clothes. LOL. Then, mom got home. When we were trying to figure out what to have for dinner I suggested that we go get some take out from the Hawiian place down the road. So we hoped in the car, me in my new clothes bragging about how cute I looked, and headed down the road. Everything was fine. I was feeling good, I went in and got a few looks from some guys, ordered my food, got my food, and got out.

As we pulled out of the parking lot though, I saw Jacob walking down the street.

My response was "That Bastard!" Why? I don't know. It just was.

Mom turned the car around and we went to see him for a few minutes. It was awkward as all hell between us but the only thing i kept thinking was I have never seen him so defeated. Not even after he lost his job, one of the only things he took pride in, did he look this upset.

I wish I could be there for him and it kills me that I can't help him. But this isnt' about me. I can't force him to accept comfort or support. He'll come to me if it's needed I suppose.

I'm now just really worried about him. I have never seen him look so lost.