forsomeone

It's been a frantic and dramatic experience to try and get a plane ticket to California at the last minute. Mom and I have fought over it, both of us have spent hours trying to figure out how to do it, and it's now been close to six days of just trying to find a last minute flight for me to head down to California to visit her (she's there on vacation) and my grandparents. This morning... or well, evening I guess, we finally got it all figured out. Now I'm terrified.

I forget each and every time how I seem to be anxiety ridden when I leave for extended periods. First off, I am actually terrified of planes. I hate them. I hate turbulence and each time I board one, all I can think of is "This is the last time I will get to see my family". For some reason, I constantly think that I'll never get to see my mom and dad again and usually that leads me into a full blown panic during the hours leading up to my flight, and usually a lot of trying to hold back tears during my flight. But, logically I know that planes are the safest way to travel, so I can usually get over that fear.

Then, my other one... its kind of juvenile I suppose, and really sort of dumb. But my cat is close to thirteen years old now and she doesn't like it when either mom or I are gone for extended times. So when the two of us are gone at the same time for more than a few days, I tend to get panicy. All I can think is she's going to die while we're away and it'll be because she thinks we're never coming back. I know it's stupid but I love this cat more than any of my other pets. I'm attached to her like none other and so to leave her scares me because I'm afraid that she'll begin to believe that we're not coming back and she won't hold on anymore. I hate crying over it because it makes me feel so young and stupid but... I just can't help it.

God, I hate the hours leading up to flying out of here. They're usually spent in tears. I'll be fine once I land, and most likely I'll be calling Megan every few days to make sure my cat is okay... because I'm cool like that. LOL.

I don't know if I'll have internet connection down there. I think I will, but we'll have to see. Hope all is well for everyone else. Love you all!