So... yeah. I just need sleep. This is me talking to my friend Caity who I've known since I was five. I don't know what got into me tonight but I'm pretty sure that this is the basis of my friendship with her. It always has been. Maybe that's why we're such good friends.

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So, I have to write a term paper, an essay on Measure 50, and an essay on a play that I will nto be seeing until this weekend. On top of that, I have my normal readings for school and work... All of this should be done by Monday. Tell me again why the fuck I'm going to college?

Alright... so maybe I'm over reacting. It's just... my characters of my stories are feeling neglected. They are, as my brother would put it, being shoved into a corner like a neglected redheaded step child. Don't ask. My brother and I have a weird sense of humor. I miss Chris.

I just want to write. That's all I'm asking for. But it seems like just as I'm about ready to have school under control, something comes up. Graned, this something was my own fault but I would like to overlook that at the moment. *sigh* Basically, I walked out the door yesterday, headed to the bus stop so I could get to school. I had my Across the Universe soundtrack playing and while I was listening to Strawberry Fields, a car accident took place right in front of me. Right then and there, that should have been a sign to me that the day was about to become complicated.

I got to music class and realized the the one and only project for that class was due and me being the forgetful little girl I have been latley, hadn't even started it. So, I went down to my teacher, practically near tears, and told him that quite honestly, I was stupid and that I had forgotten and was wondering if there was any possible way I could make up for this. He gave me that dissapointed look (God I hate it when they do that) and told me that I could write a term paper for Monday's class and he would just give me a zero on the rough draft that was supposed to be handed in weeks ago. It's not an ideal situation but I fucked up so I'm going to take what I can get.

*sigh* So, this week, my writing class was canceled all week long so we could work on our essay for it. I thought that this week was going to be easy, that I was going to be able to actually write because my essay for writing class shouldn't take too much time in my mind. Insead I now have a term paper tacked onto my workload and a five page essay on a play that I don't even know if I'll be able to buy tickets for this weekend.

If I'm offline this week, the above is the reason.

The good thing that has happened to me this week though? I really reconnected with Caitlyn and even though the two of us spent the whole night crying when we saw each other, it was a good cry. It was so nice to actually feel like I had my best friend again. I didn't realize how much I was actually missing having friends until that night.

MIDTERMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!!!! WOOT!

Oddly enough, my music midterm, the one that I was freaking out about the most, is the one that I feel as if I aced. Then, my theater midterm, the one that I felt as if I knew pretty well without having to do much studying, I’m pretty positive I failed. LOL. I’m not going to let it get to me though because GPA’s are bogus in college anyway unless you are going to grad school after, which is something I so intend not to do. Either way, I hoped the bus home after my last midterm, opting to skip out on my last class of the day and am now looking forward to sitting on the sofa tonight with Ghost Hunters playing in the background for the rest of the night. How I love that show. 

Okay, a few things to catch everyone up on.

First off, my friend Caitlyn is coming home Friday! Yay! I love this girl to death and she was my lifeline over the summer. She moved about two hours away though and I haven’t seen her since early September. I miss her like none other and now she’s coming home. So Saturday, after work, I’m going to head out to her house and spend the night there. You have no idea how excited I am.

She also called me last night to tell me something that I’m not sure how I feel about. Her parents got divorced about three years ago and hence the reason why this summer, when my parents announced they were getting a divorce, I went to her house. She was the one that I felt understood what I was going through and even though I’ve known her since I was five, I felt closer to her this summer than I ever had before. Anyway, when she called me last night, it was to tell me that her mother is getting married. I went through the obligatory “Congratulations,” and “Wow that’s so exciting” but when I got to thinking about it, I began to get a little uneasy. Her mom and this new guy have only been dating for a few months. Granted, they’ve known each other for years, but it still doesn’t make it any less weird. I’m happy for Francine (her mom) but it got me thinking about my own mom. Is this how quickly my mom is going to move on? Three years and I’m going to have a stepdad? I’m not sure if I can deal with that. Caitlyn is taking it all really well but that might be because her dad was a complete jackass during and after the divorce. I know her parents divorce and my parents are very different but I still can’t help but think that my mom will be remarried in a few years and I think that scares me. The one thing that scares me even more is the fact that I’m not exactly sure if it really does scare me or not.


Alright, now changing subjects…. Last night while I was trying to study for midterms, I got bored and decided to google myself. :) Yes, I was that bored. Anyway, it turns out that there is already a writer out there with my name!!!! As if that wasn’t bad enough, but she writes crappy love stories like the following:

Kyra Evans isn't popular, or a girl who you stare at when you are walking down the hall. So why can't Jason-basketball star and the hottest guy in school-get her out of his head?Under normal circumstances, Jason and Kyra would live in their separate worlds up until graduation. But fate intervenes and the unlikely duo is paired up for a class project. Preconceived notions abound on both sides???but Kyra soon realizes that Jason is not the dumb jock that she had assumed him to be. And Jason finds himself telling Kyra things he can't even tell his best friend. As the two become friends and eventually start to fall in love, no one in school can believe it-especially not Jason's ex, who is determined to break them up. Being together means navigating the obstacles that are coming their way-but staying apart may be impossible.

Someone is tarnishing my good name with that kind of teenage angst writing? I think I need to track them down. Or change my name.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a very happy Halloween!!!!
Peace!

My last 24 hours of a senior were interesting. :) We all went to the school at eight and snuck into the freshman hall and tied all the lockers up with string, and then we wrapped the courtyard in cellafane. :) Why? Because we can. LOL. Although, my stupid vice principal Pinger came in at five a.m and took everything down today before anyone could see it. That was pretty lame but it was still fun to do it. Sorry, this isn't edited. I'm too tired for that.

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So I was at Denny’s tonight with a group of friends that I’ve known forever. We were all sitting around, laughing and talking, when “Imagine” came on and I just stopped. I sat back like an observer and watched in slow motion as my friends laughed and joked and it was bittersweet. It was a scene right out of a movie for me as I saw them smile and push each other around, and there was me, sitting with my coffee, remembering how it seemed like only yesterday that we were all out on the playground chasing leprechauns or filming a slasher movie. And all I can think about is that it’s times like this that life is worth it. These are the moments we fight for. We’re not here to discover the divine secret, or for some master plan, we’re here for these little moments where we’re surrounded by the people that we love, and for a few brief seconds, there’s peace.